Creating Welcoming Space
by Sister Marilyn Lacey
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 One way of measuring whether our love is genuine, however, is to examine how far we’ve extended the boundaries that determine whom we are willing to be in relationship with. When these borders reach out as far as they can go, there will be no one left outside, there will be no one cursed. There will be no more strangers. Everyone will be welcome.
Reflect for a minute on what it feels like to be welcomed. The word means, simply, ‘come and be well’ in my presence. It’s a fundamental human experience, and a very crucial one. When I am welcomed, I feel good. I can be myself. I relax and feel unself-conscious, energized, happy. On the other hand, when I am not welcomed, I doubt myself, turn inward, shrivel up. I feel excluded, not accepted, and not acceptable. This is painful. If it happens often enough, I will question my own self-worth.
Hospitality means creating welcoming space for the other. Henri J. Nouwen notes that the Dutch word for hospitality, gastvrijheid, means ‘the freedom of the guest.’ It entails creating not just physical room but emotional spaciousness where the stranger can enter and be himself or herself, where the stranger can become ally instead of threat, friend instead of enemy.
[…] That precious experience — when contemplated, cherished, and celebrated — enables me in turn to welcome others: I begin to be less fearful of the other; I start to see the stranger as gift. I become willing to create space in myself to invite the other in, and I open myself to the possibility of being changed by the presence of the other.
I invite the reader to sit with any of the wonderful hospitality stories found in the traditions of all the great religions. Mull them over; ask God for insight into them. Then ask for courage to take small steps in expanding your own circle of hospitality. These might be as tentative as smiling at the stranger in line with you at the grocery store, as deliberate as hosting a get-together for all the strangers in your apartment building, or as dramatic as volunteering to foster an unaccompanied refugee child in your own home. It might not cost you much, or it might mean going out on a limb: Can you imagine yourself during Thanksgiving dinner speaking up to your brother-in-law in defense of the undocumented, pointing out that, really, everyone is kin to us, and everyone has a human right to live where they can support their own family?
Latest Community Insights  |
Creating Welcoming Space
What does “creating welcoming space for the other” mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of hospitality where you felt your boundaries of relationship greatly expand? What has helped you mindfully create spaces of welcome? |
| susan schaller wrote: Henri Nouwen also described Hospitality as “the creation of an empty and safe place for all to discover their gifts to share.” This, along with the finding out that the original Latin and in mo… |
| sheetal V wrote: Creating welcoming space for the others to me includes everything from physical space of dwelling to being present for the person in any moment. I love hosting people and offering them space that wil… |
| Kristin Pedemonti wrote: Creating welcoming space for others means extending our hearts and souls outward and realizing that as we allow ourselves to Know strangers, there are no strangers. I’ve lived this way fo… |
| Smita wrote: During the time I spent in the Bay Area, Hawaii, and in India, I had the great privilege to experience feeling soooooo welcome into many friends’ homes. These experiences have touched me deeply… |
| Abhishek wrote: A welcoming space has to be an empty space i.e. empty of ‘me’ (where typically I tend to be full of ‘my’self). The empty-Me space is where the other person truly can walk in as themselves, unju… |
| david doane wrote: “Be welcome” was the greeting I received from my mentor, partner, and friend. He said and lived those words. His name was Jim Guinan. Being on the receiving end of his welcome, I fe… |
| navinsata wrote: 1. saint kabir when ever he helped needy his eyes whare at their feet,when asked why he did this his explanation was lord [narayna] comes in many forms to bless us [na jane kis roop mae mi… |
| navinsata wrote: true love is infinite, no boundries of ego left, to find that state of mind heart , one opens heart ,where there is no more ego no more you yours ,me mine left. only unconditional love shine ev… |
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Editor’s note: Happy New Year everyone! Remember to join us in kicking of 2015 with the 21 Day Simple Living Challenge starting on January 9th. With only five days left until the challenge, we are reminded of Plato’s beautiful quote, "The greatest wealth is to live content with little." It’s not too late, 
