Sangha of Auspicious Companions

How to Fix Breakdowns in Communication

Ever felt like you’re speaking a different language with someone, even when you’re not? Maria Popova dives into psychologist Carl R. Rogers’ insightful exploration on bridging communication gaps, whether in love or global conflicts. Rogers revealed that our inclination to judge rather than to understand is the greatest barrier to genuine connection. He proposed a radical experiment: before sharing your own perspective in a heated argument, restate your opponent’s view to their satisfaction first. This “little laboratory experiment” could transform your next heated discussion into a moment of genuine understanding. It takes courage and vulnerability, Rogers suggests, noting that the “risk of being changed is one of the most frightening prospects most of us can face.” Yet in the seeming abyss of divergent worldviews, this practice might just open up an opportunity to live into our interconnections.

Be The Change

The next time a disagreement arises, pause and restate the other person’s perspective until they confirm you understand them before sharing your viewpoint.