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Archive for January 12, 2016

Erich Fromm on the Art of Loving

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January 12, 2016

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Erich Fromm on the Art of Loving

To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.

– Thich Nhat Hanh –

Erich Fromm on the Art of Loving

Our cultural mythology “continually casts love as something that happens to us passively and by chance, something we fall into, something that strikes us arrow-like, rather than a skill attained through the same deliberate practice as any other pursuit of human excellence. Our failure to recognize this skillfulness aspect is perhaps the primary reason why love is so intertwined with frustration. That’s what the great German social psychologist, psychoanalyst, and philosopher Erich Fromm examines in his 1956 masterwork The Art of Loving — a case for love as a skill to be honed the way artists apprentice themselves to the work on the way to mastery, demanding of its practitioner both knowledge and effort.” { read more }

Be The Change

For further inspiration, read Thich Nhat Hanh’s wise words on love and the art of inter-being. { more }

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Awakin Weekly: Be Cool to the Pizza Dude

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InnerNet Weekly: Inspirations from ServiceSpace.org
Be Cool to the Pizza Dude
by Sarah Adams

[Listen to Audio!]

2137.jpgIf I have one operating philosophy about life it is this: “Be cool to the pizza delivery dude; it’s good luck.” Four principles guide the pizza dude philosophy.

Principle 1: Coolness to the pizza delivery dude is a practice in humility and forgiveness. I let him cut me off in traffic, let him safely hit the exit ramp from the left lane, let him forget to use his blinker without extending any of my digits out the window or towards my horn because there should be one moment in my harried life when a car may encroach or cut off or pass and I let it go. Sometimes when I have become so certain of my ownership of my lane, daring anyone to challenge me, the pizza dude speeds by me in his rusted Chevette. His pizza light atop his car glowing like a beacon reminds me to check myself as I flow through the world. After all, the dude is delivering pizza to young and old, families and singletons, gays and straights, blacks, whites and browns, rich and poor, vegetarians and meat lovers alike. As he journeys, I give safe passage, practice restraint, show courtesy, and contain my anger.

Principle 2: Coolness to the pizza delivery dude is a practice in empathy. Let’s face it: We’ve all taken jobs just to have a job because some money is better than none. I’ve held an assortment of these jobs and was grateful for the paycheck that meant I didn’t have to share my Cheerios with my cats. In the big pizza wheel of life, sometimes you’re the hot bubbly cheese and sometimes you’re the burnt crust. It’s good to remember the fickle spinning of that wheel.

Principle 3: Coolness to the pizza delivery dude is a practice in honor and it reminds me to honor honest work. Let me tell you something about these dudes: They never took over a company and, as CEO, artificially inflated the value of the stock and cashed out their own shares, bringing the company to the brink of bankruptcy, resulting in 20,000 people losing their jobs while the CEO builds a home the size of a luxury hotel. Rather, the dudes sleep the sleep of the just.

Principle 4: Coolness to the pizza delivery dude is a practice in equality. My measurement as a human being, my worth, is the pride I take in performing my job — any job — and the respect with which I treat others. I am the equal of the world not because of the car I drive, the size of the TV I own, the weight I can bench press, or the calculus equations I can solve. I am the equal to all I meet because of the kindness in my heart. And it all starts here — with the pizza delivery dude.

Tip him well, friends and brethren, for that which you bestow freely and willingly will bring you all the happy luck that a grateful universe knows how to return.

About the Author: Sarah Adams has held a number of jobs in her life, including telemarketer, factory worker, hotel clerk, and flower shop cashier, but she has never delivered pizzas. Born in Connecticut and raised in Wisconsin, Adams now lives in Washington where she is an English professor at Olympic College. This article was originally published in This I Believe.

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Be Cool to the Pizza Dude
What does remembering the fickle spinning of the wheel of life mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time when you were able to go beyond thoughts of ownership to allow others to share the space? What lessons from this piece speak to you as a practice for your own life?
Kristin Pedemonti wrote: OH how I loved this! May we all practice patience, kindness, and leave space for all of those who are navigating their way through life the best way they know how, even if that means they use n…
david doane wrote: The fickle spinning of the wheel of life means life is a mixed bag — up and down, lucky and unlucky, win and lose, good times and bad times, success and failure, healthy and sick — and over the cou…
david doane wrote: The fickle spinning of the wheel of life means life is a mixed bag — up and down, lucky and unlucky, win and lose, good times and bad times, success and failure, healthy and sick — and over the cou…
Jagdish P Dave wrote: The pizza wheel of life has many interconnected spokes: honoring work, serving and treating people with equality, courtesy,modesty, humility, self regard and empathy.Our self-worth does no…
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